Talking about feelings

How do teach our children to talk about their feelings

One of the most important things we can do for our children is to help them find a way to talk about how they feel without judging, blaming, or theorizing.   One of the ways to help them connect their actions with their feelings is an ‘I’ statement.  Tell them to say: “When you _________________ I feel____________.” Tell them they should not, blame, name call, or judge.

If a child can make this link between behaviors and feelings early on they will tend to be more compassionate later on in life.  How can they learn to talk about their feelings like this?  The parents need to be honest with their feelings and need to show leadership in the way they link their feelings to behaviors.  One ‘I’ statement can show how an action resulted an a particular feeling. Seeing others use I statements will catch on.

If a child is acting out their feelings rather than speaking about their feelings parents should help them by talking out their problems. Questioning can start with.  What happened?  Why did you do that? How did you feel when you did that?  How do you think they feel now?