The Importance of Controlling Our Feelings

The Importance of Controlling Our Feelings

Feelings are universal.  Everyone has feelings.  Not everyone is able to control their feelings.  Those who understand their own feelings, and the feelings of others do well.  Those who understand how to control their own feelings and channel them into positive motivational outcomes are most successful in life and do even better.  Daniel Goleman wrote a book entitled Working with Emotional Intelligence that is written on this very premise.  It is a powerful read and has given me much food for thought. My Emotatude Children’s series will help children work to build their own emotional intelligence.

As I continue to write about Emotatudes for children I constantly imagine what our feelings look, smell, taste, and move like.  This series is delving deeply into my emotional life.  It has sent me on a world search for what makes us human.  How are we all alike?  It is my belief that every human on the planet experiences feelings.  Perhaps our cultural constructs paint them.  Rarely do we share them openly for everyone to see.

Maybe if we start looking within and honoring our inner space we will find how connected we are. Maybe then we will feel safe enough to share our own feelings.  It is so interesting that I painted Kanipshuns in little swirls as they move about in and out of our raging feelings that are too often pent up and not dealt with.  Then later I read an account of someone describing their very own angry hurt feelings as swirling about in her head. Have studies been done about this?  Are emotions electrical impulses in our brains? Do different emotions move differently?  We are all vibratory beings.  Maybe understanding our Emotatudes and the way they resonate in our lives will help us all live more fulfilled happy lives.

Having a Kanipshun

When Doug the lug blows a pea shooter at Crandle and it goes splat on his sleeve, he is grossed out and irritated.  When Crandle goes into class and Doug hocks some more pea shot loogies at the teacher's sleeve when she is not looking, he is shocked!  When the teacher turns around and sends Crandle to the office thinking he did it, he is angry.  When he goes to recess and the whole class makes fun of him for this, he looses his top and has a kanipshun! Crandle could feel his blood pressure rising. He could feel the tears well up. He could think of about 59 things that he wanted to say to the kids on the playground at that moment, yet not one of them would change his situation.

He thought about blaming, yelling, justifying, screaming, crying, or just being plain ugly right then and there. But instead he took a deep breath. He seriously hoped he could gather up enough calmness to restrain his tongue and his emotions in that moment, and asked Doug if he would like to play something else besides pea shooting. But, Doug just laughed at him.  That was the last straw!

As he stood there on the playground having so many different thoughts swirling through his mind and words of anger sitting on the tip of his tongue, he did it.  He cut off Eileen McNair's hair.  Her beautiful ponytail of hair everyone thought was so fair.  Then he went inside and through a chair.  He wished the spirit deep within himself yielded him to stop, breathe, and be controlled in his actions and his words. He did not do it right this time, but he wished he always allowed himself to be led by his inner peaceful spirit when his emotions got out of control.

When our emotions threaten to overtake us, there is a place inside of us we can learn to depend on that can help us restrain ourselves. We can let our emotions swirl out of control, but most of the time it is not going to change the situation in front of us. If we don’t keep our angry emotions in check, it can lead to harsh words, bitterness, resentment, regret, shame, and guilt.  Crandle had to deal with all of these and make a lot of amends.

Did Crandle have a right to be angry? Maybe he did, but even in his anger, there was a place inside of himself he could learn to access that would help him refrain from doing the wrong thing. Emotions are a good thing. But emotions out of control can reap havoc.

Please read my illustrated book 'Cranky Crandle's Kanipshun Fit' to find out how Dr. Kich helps him deal with his anger.  This is what I think a kanipshun looks like, but my daughter thinks they should have two horns.  Hmmmm..... come to think of it that would fit right in with the expression "The devil made me do it."