Inner Space the Next Great Frontier

I was once told by a doctor that she thought there was more to be revealed about what makes us alive than humankind knows, and that we know less about our inner selves than any other thing on earth.  This was the greatest paradox to her because she observed that the thing closest thing to any human on earth is the very life they are living.  She concluded that there is indeed something about humanity that is other worldly that we don’t know about.  That special something that gives us life and breath was quite evident to her even though she was raised as an atheist.  She reported that even the strictest atheists she knew cried out for God at the time of their death.  

Could our feelings be part of this great unknown life force? We all feel so differently, but we all do have feelings.  The ways we describe our feelings are often the same.  Sometimes the real ‘feelings’ get lost in the translation of that feeling into words.  We all eventually find our own way in the world and sort through our feelings in a way that matches our own personal stamp.  Eventually we become used to our feelings and our own way of being in the world.

Building emotional literacy can open the door to emotional power, happiness, success and satisfying relationships. Being aware of our own emotions and ways to communicate what we are feeling is the first step to expressing and talking about our feelings.  This is the beginning to healthy relationships with ourselves, others, and maybe even God.

Emotatudes

Emotatudes are a new way of looking at our feelings. So often we use adjectives to 'describe' how we feel. That is valuable, but can lead to misunderstandings when perspective are different. Emotatudes are nouns that show us physical proof of the complicated emotions we feel.  Having a kanipshun tells us more than 'being angry.' Having 'a case of the blues' explains more than 'being sad.' What do these nouns look like, feel like or sound like?  The answer to that question will help us unlock the passion of our inner world's in living color with sound and movement.

What are feelings?

What are feelings?  My mother explained to me that they are a response to our world around us.  I remember just being myself as a child and gradually learning how to label my inner mental condition with my external world.  It was complex, and sometimes confusing. I was an open happy child and that was helpful for my exploration of feelings.  There are so many feelings and variations of the types feelings we have below.  I still find it a complicated endeavor to really be in touch with how I feel.  My ‘Emotatude’ series strives to help us all paint pictures of how we feel so our feelings can be understood more easily.  The next time you wrestle with your feelings think about which of the following categories your feelings fall under. It can be a helpful exercise. This list comes from the headings of the feelings list on the web page:  www.psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html
OPEN	HAPPY	ALIVE	GOOD
LOVE	INTERESTED	POSITIVE	STRONG
ANGRY	DEPRESSED	CONFUSED	HELPLESS
INDIFFERENT	AFRAID	HURT	SAD

Community

We all need to feel loved and we all need compliments. We perceive the world with its ups and downs as it relates to our own condition. Somehow I believe there must be a place where we can share our views freely, and get the encouragement we need.  We should strive for this. If we don’t we will lose sense of community.  Often we don’t know how to ask for what we need.  We can spend years silently and timidly waiting to be accepted for ideas and viewpoints.  Secretly we want people in our lives to think we are smart, creative or kind and most of all an important part of their lives.

Try finding a person who is interested in an affectionate, thoughtful dialogue.  Try out new statements like:

“I really like your idea!  I have some perceptions about what you said.  Do you mind if I share them with you?”

“I just wrote a new blurb on my blog.  Would you read it and tell me if you like it?”

“I can’t believe I feel so negative about this situation.  I think it is my perspective on this.  Can you tell me some things that will help me feel loved and connected?”

I think it is natural to feel alone and out of place some times.  We just need to recognize that it is not a natural state of being and we really do need each other. 

Equality

Educate Equality

Our present educational system is denying success and access to personal abilities.  Many are simply dropping out of the system entirely. These students are our future.   Allowing them to truly be themselves begins with a love and understanding of their own unique identity and gifts.  When children and young adults begin to value their own place in the world they can begin to be a positive participant in their community.  As parents and educators, we can encourage future generations of children and youth to contribute to our society by overcoming age-old prejudices about our present hierarchy. I believe we can break down the cycle  of shame that has so often consumed our educational system.

Knowing each child's gifts and encouraging them to try as hard as they can will motivate individuals to be the best they can be.  How can we introduce fundamental concepts of peace, unity, and academic achievement in anyof the school curriculum - from history to science to the arts if we do not start with the motivation of the individual. It would be great if high academic standards and values were an integral part of a student's experience. But, it can not be done without truly valuing the students themselves and the gifts they have to offer society. The process of educating our future citizens of tomorrow needs to involve interaction with the entire community.

Art, music, and hands on instruction as well as regular field trips in the community build confidence in students.  All students should be considered exceptional in their talents and appreciated for who they are.

The state of Florida is continually raising student expectations and parents are finding new options for success like individual tutoring and home education as well as many enrichment programs in music, art, and sports. There is a continued trend of being weary of massive amounts of testing that place external value on our children without ever asking what gifts each child has to offer our community. This is setting a mold for performance that excludes creativity and unique individuality.  Students are taken out of their music and art classes for raising performance in areas that might not be their strong area. This is difficult for students  who are not ready to meet these higher “expectations.” Why aren’t public schools expecting students to find what makes them unique and special?

Some schools use retention as a strategy for children when their reading skills are low.  In the long run low readers are more successful when allowed to learn at their own pace and not retained.  Many children are not ready to learn to read on the same level at the same age. Children who find their own learning style and pace, thrive academically.

Why damage a child's opinion of who they are just because he or she is unsuccessful at something, when they would be naturally able to do it at a later date? This is an unfortunate consequence of high stakes testing.

Encouraging your child is the most powerful strategy for building academic excellence.  The first step to do this is to give them a chance to excel academically through experiential learning and intensive tutoring. Tell them that you know they are a good learner who needs to find their own special way of learning and that you love them for all the things they are, and that they can do now.

Conferencing with your child’s teacher about alternative assessment methods (such as portfolio assessments) for your child is another powerful strategy to increase academic progress.  

Consider an alternative school setting as a strategy that will individualize your child’s needs.   A small private school with a class size no larger than five or six students will provide individual instruction where children can learn at their own pace.

The final and most important strategy is to make sure your child can celebrate their achievements to build confidence as unique individuals. The laws keep changing but the individual needs of each student remain rather constant.

Many schools offer the "solution" to children who are gifted or don’t fit the traditional mold which is a referral to special education. All too often, schools fail to offer the critical third "R" – Rooting for their own identity. Our community needs to tailor programs to do just this for students 12-18.  We need to give students a chance to find where they belong in our community not on the Florida Student Assessment bar.

Lemonade Under the Maple Tree

Grandpa  Gerald Emerick used to come to our house too.  He planted all kinds of wonderful crops in the back yard.  I would come home for lunch and eat cherry tomatoes in the garden instead of sitting at the table with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

There was a certain peace outside you could not find indoors.  Grandpa knew this.  That is why he was there.  He would occasionally get tired and take a chair under the maple tree and sit down sweating and hot.  I would see him there and bring out a tall glass of lemonade.  We would sit and talk.  I loved having someone to talk to that was not a parent.  He told me great stories. My favorite one was the story about the Beanblossoms.

When Marjorie and Gerald Emerick were first married, they lived in tenement housing in Columbus, Ohio.  This three apartment house was shared with Mr. and Mrs. Beanblossom, Mr. and Mrs.  Hohottle  and all of their children.  The children played in the back yard together, and the fathers shared the responsibility of keep the furnace going through the winter and buy the coal.  The months of October, and November went to Mr. Emerick.  The months of December and January went to Mr. Beanblossom. And the months of February and March went to Mr. Hohottle.  Each father took a week in April to shovel the last bits of coal into the furnace in the morning when needed.  The coal bin was usually empty by April 21^st and it was too warm to need any more after that. 

Everything went smoothly.  Gerry worked for an architectural firm and studied. Mr. Beanblossom was studying to be a Pastor.  Mr. Hohottle worked at the Jeffrey Manufacturing Company. The wives took care of their homes.

One day Gerald and Marjorie decided they wanted to go on vacation to Grandpa’s farm.  The parents enjoyed the relaxing break they got.  They could sit in the sun under the maple tree and drink lemonade together.  They could see new things and help in the kitchen and the field to make things easier for the grandparents.  The food tasted better after a hard day’s work and the fresh garden vegetables made everyone thrive.  The sad day came when it was time to go back home. 

Everyone was loaded up in the car and out came grandpa with a bag.  Marjorie looked at Gerald with that almost frozen fearful look he only saw once before when she looked over the fence down at the raging Niagara Falls on their honeymoon.  The bag was wiggling.  The kids in the back seat were wiggling too.  This was going to be a long drive home.  She was silent. She would just let him take care of it. 

When they got home the coal bin was empty because it was June, so he put the bag and its contents in the bin.  Every Sunday for six weeks Gerald would come up from the coal bin with a fresh chicken in a roasting pan ready for Marge to cook.  They were the best tasting chickens ever. 

September came and it was time to start the new semester at divinity school for Mr. Beanblossom, and Mr. Emerick at architecture school.  It was also time to start the coal order.  So, Gerald knocked on Mr. Beanblossom’s door.  He always enjoyed a little chat.  “Come on in Gerry”  .

 “ Well, don’t mind if I do.” Gerry replied. 

“What’s on your mind?” Mr. Beanblossom said.

 “ Well, I just come from the coal shop, and thought we might settle up with our bills, and plan our schedule for the coming winter.”  He pulled out his little pad and pencil from his breast pocket.

“Splendid idea. Come and sit down at the table and try one of these sugar cookies the Mrs. just baked.”Mr. Beanblossom pulled him up a chair at the living room table.

“I could smell them in the hallway.  I was hoping you would ask.” Gerry said.

“Gerry.  Have you noticed that I just haven’t seemed myself lately?  Well… I haven’t been.  I have been hearing noises.  I thought I was crazy.  I really did.  Why here we are in the middle of Columbus. In the city and I have been hearing chickens.  I moved out of the country because I couldn’t stand the sound of chickens.  I thought I might be creating this thought that I should be in the country again, and my brain is tricking me to hear these noises.  Well, let me tell you what I did.  I went to one of them new-fangled mind doctors.  You know uh what do you call them? Psychologists?   I went to Mr. Haltsmen PhD. up on High Street.  It cost five dollars an hour, but it was worth it.  I saw him every week for six weeks. The sound got less and less until I didn’t hear it. If you ever have a problem with your mind, go to him. He really knows what he is doing.” Mr. Beanblossom  praised Mr. Haltsmen PhD. And Gerald bit his pencil so very hard that it almost broke in half. He had to leave before he burst out laughing. “Gerry, are you o.k.?  Maybe you should go to see that doctor.” Gerald interrupted “Er um I tell you what.  Can I go first this season?  I’d like to set up the coal and everything this time.” Mr. Beanblossom never did find out about the chickens.  Mr. Hohottle never did say a word one way or the other.