Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Our Emotions and the Election



My daughter cried the morning of November 11, 2016 when I told her Donald Trump was going to be president.  She was upset by the news she heard about him misbehaving around women, and was afraid to have him as president. 

I tried to be measured in how to explain to her to be effective with responding to creating change.  She wanted to move to Britain.  I explained that running away from our scary feelings is not the best way to deal with them.  Sometimes we need to face our feelings.

How can we deal with our negative feelings of fear as they arise? Instead of telling my daughter to stop feeling a certain way, I entertained her idea of running from this presidency.  Moving would be difficult.  We would have to put our pets in quarantine, get visas, jobs, and housing.  That might be more difficult than signing a petition and voting, or protecting ourselves and others from difficulty.

I then honored her feelings as useful information.  I explained that any man who talks about women the way he does or walks into dressing rooms, should be avoided.  Her emotions led us to a discussion of which situations she should engage with and which ones she should avoid. 

I explained her feelings, and my feelings can motivate us to be the change we want to see in this country.

As a parent, I realize that these emotions are warning signs we need to listen to and prepare ourselves for.  There is a purpose for emotions, and these emotions tell us about our values.  I explained this to my daughter and she felt proud of her feelings, and now I hope she will listen to her feelings in the future.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Turning Obstacles into Opportunity as Pennebaker Did

Dealing with grief, anger, or sadness does not come easy to anyone. James Pennebaker, an accomplished professor at the University of Texas came up with a way to deal with anger by writing it down.  His research inspired me when  found that people who wrote out their worries tended to cope better. There are so many ways to handle anger that I have tried lately.  Anger is the fire that burns us to make us shine through adversity.  It is like the fire in a kiln.  We can put the glaze of experience on our pot of life, but until we are put through the fire of life we do not shine.  It is that going forth and coming back again that makes us look all shiny and new again just like my daughter when she comes out of her fever. Her fever always makes her looks all toasty shiny and new again. 

If everyone could cope with anger naturally as we rid germs with fevers, the world would be better. I believe our anger is part of life, just as germs are.  There are people, things, and experiences that draw forth anger.  They are inevitable.  It is how we deal with this anger that matters.  Having the space between the feeling we feel, and the action we do, to cope with  feelings allow us to pick the best strategy to move forward in our lives and come out the other end of the adversity tunnel shiny and new again.
Often when life is in disarray we may feel confused and angry.  In cases like these we need clarity.  Pour a glass of water and sit and meditate for three to five days next to the water giving it our intention for clarity.  After we sit for a time of 10 minutes or more pour the water out into the ground.
When we are clear we may still be angry at the situation.  Then it is time to fight fire with fire.  Wake before all others in your household.  Get a sheet of paper.  Write all the things you are angry about on that paper.  Then, crumple up the paper and light it on fire outside.  Make sure it is in a metal or ceramic bowl that is not important to you.  After writing for a week you will feel less angry.  The ashes will still be there.  Bury them in a place that brings you peace.


After this is done go on a walk and breathe deeply for seven days.  Breathe in for ten counts and then exhale for ten counts.  Then stop for a second and think to yourself “I accept my life as it is and wish to live my life to its fullest.”  Allow positive new thoughts in and allow the painful sad thoughts to be.  The object of this exercise is not to get rid of unhappiness.  The idea is to allow the reality of the issue to set into your life.  

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Acknowledging Feelings and Emotional Agility

Children experience grief but lack the coping skills to guide them through these difficult moments. Susan David Ph.D. the visionary behind Emotional Agility. says "When we show up fully, with awareness and acceptance, even the worst demons back down. Simply by facing up to the scary things and giving them a name, we oftewn strip them of their power." This is the core of what my Emotatude series is about.  My Emotatude series strives to give our feelings names and even paint pictures of what they look like.  I have done this to help my family and ultimately myself cope.  We really can't control how many emotional experiences we will have.  We can control how we will deal with them.  Do we hold things in?  Do we go over them in our mind over and over again? Or, do we accept situations and embrace them with all our being.  That is what Susan David calls "showing up." This is what I am working on personally, and what my books are trying to work on too. Right now I am working on my sixth book Gregory Deals with Grief. I hope that it will be as enlightening as Crandle's Conniptions, The Secret of Warm Fuzzies, How to be Heebie Jeebie Free, and What to do When you Get the Bejeebers Scared Out of You. I revere Susan for her deep research in these matters that I am savoring chapter by chapter.  They feed my spirit and give me new direction in my writing.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Motivation and Values Can Match Your Way Forward Through Emotional Agility

The book Emotional Agility by Susan David is an awesome read for parents. She cuts through our frenetic world and really gets into the inborn jungle inside of us where it is really easy to get lost in our powerful emotions.  She takes the whole idea of 'getting out of your own way' to a new level of understanding. 

Her ideas hit home as she points out that a person with emotional agility can be in the moment and behave in ways that match what they want and what they believe in.  When I think about the countless times in my life I have reacted to events in my life because of my emotions, I settle to think how things might have gone differently if I had acted out of a sense of my core values and desires.

Her work motivates me to continue to make new discoveries about my series of 'Emotatude' books where the main character Dr. Kich a famous ‘Emotatude’ doctor helps children understand their emotions. This character explores feelings as concrete beings that lie deep inside all of us. He has provided an invaluable service to children and adults everywhere who struggle with ways to explain just how they feel and what they are feeling.

When I think about Crandle the latest character in book 5 who experienced conniption fits, I hope that the window into his fictional world will help real children act out of a sense of their core values and desires as Crandle has.  I invite any readers with ideas for new Emotatudes to contact me at Karenwporter.com to let me know how we can explore new worlds where emotions are there for us in their native raw state, not needing to be conquered, but understood.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Emotional Agility

Just when I thought I was really "in touch" emotionally,  I have been awakened to the idea that there is more for me to discover about emotion.  I took the free quiz Susan David has provided to promote her new book, Emotional Agility.   I now realize I want to train myself to come to my inner world -  thoughts, emotions, experiences and self-stories - with courage, compassion and curiosity. So often I let my emotions get in my way.  This book looks like it will give us insight into how to learn from our emotions.  This is my mantra in writing my Emotatude series.  I want to be so skilled at feeling that I will be able to spring back from any emotional devastation I feel and evaluate the situations I face with a clear mind.  I want to always be able to move forward with values and purpose. This book " a critical skillset that helps you make real changes in your life, both
at work and at home." It has a four-part process to help you make these changes that are
"organized into those four parts: Showing Up, Stepping Out, Walking Your Why, and Moving On."
 I am going to give it a try and let you know how it goes.  Perhaps I will have tips for coping with our Bejeebers, Heebiejeebies, Conniptions, Cases of Grief and more.

Emotional Agility

Just when I thought I was really "in touch" emotionally,  I have been awakened to the idea that there is more for me to discover about emotion.  I took the free quiz Susan David has provided to promote her new book, Emotional Agility.   I now realize I want to train myself to come to my inner world -  thoughts, emotions, experiences and self-stories - with courage, compassion and curiosity. So often I let my emotions get in my way.  This book looks like it will give us insight into how to learn from our emotions.  This is my mantra in writing my Emotatude series.  I want to be so skilled at feeling that I will be able to spring back from any emotional devastation I feel and evaluate the situations I face with a clear mind.  I want to always be able to move forward with values and purpose. This book " a critical skillset that helps you make real changes in your life, both
at work and at home." It has a four-part process to help you make these changes that are
"organized into those four parts: Showing Up, Stepping Out, Walking Your Why, and Moving On."
 I am going to give it a try and let you know how it goes.  Perhaps I will have tips for coping with our Bejeebers, Heebiejeebies, Conniptions, Cases of Grief and more.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Crazy Cranky Crandle Could Quit His Conniptions!

Poor Crandle got himself expelled from school because he was not capable of self regulation.  He was incapable of managing his impulse control as well as his distressing feelings.  It is hard to work on our emotional centers at the same time as our brain is telling us to fight or flee.  We need to practice how to have:

1. Self- Control: so we can manage emotions that disrupt normal behavior.

2. Trustworthiness: so we can be honest

3, Conscientiousness : So others can depend on us

4. Adaptability: So we can function in many different types of situations

5. Innovation: So we can be open to new situations


Read my book about Crandle's Conniptions and you will begin to think about what he could have done to prevent himself from acting out the way he did.  Cranky Crandle's Crazy Conniptions: How to Deal with Conniption Fits  shows us what can happen if you are not in control of your feelings.  Daniel Goleman's book Working with Emotional Intelligence gives parents some insight and strategies for controlling your emotions.

Please visit
https://www.amazon.com/Cranky-Crandles-Crazy-Conniptions-Conniption/dp/1532871341/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1474038599&sr=1-1&keywords=Crandle

If you would like to buy my latest Emotatude Book.


Thursday, May 26, 2016

Why We Feel the Science of Human Emotions

    There are six or seven main theraputic approaches to dealing with feelings that I have found in the literature so far. Why We Feel the Science of Human Emotions written byVictor S. Johnston clearly explains the theory that there is an evolutionary function of feeling and emotion in everything we do. His scientific approach gives us much food for thought.  Johnston postulates that feelings are key in the neuroscience of the brain.  He shows the biological link with a darwinian approach.  This provides important insights into the feelings that make us human.

     If we velieve that emotions are part of our biology, this book's premise works well for his idea that our predesigned dna make up creates a grand illusion for us to operate in the world.  He goes so far as to define attractive facial characteristics that encourage us to mate.  I find it cold and calculating, and I think there is more to the furtherance of the human race than the biology we inherit to create the way we experience the world. Perhaps our consciousness and emotions might even exist independent from our human body. I believe there is a spiritual aspect of feeling that is connected to our being on a solular level.  Designing a paradigm where we emote as a stimulus/response mechanism is very simplistic as complicated as he has made it seem.


  "So the questions remain: how does lifeless matter organize itself into a feeling? How do thoughts trigger emotions? How does external stimulation and its influence on our internal brain produce sensations like color, hearing taste, etc.? Can one eventually design a computer to simulate feelings to the point of actually feeling them? Other than imitation of our own feelings, how can we scientifically tell whether another human (or a computer) actually feels a sensation?

Although I hoped this book would answer these questions, Professor Johnston admits that we do not yet understand the mechanism of feelings (drat!). However, he does illuminate many of the reasons of why we feel based on an evolutionary approach (after all the title of the book addresses "why," not "how"). Johnston utilizes the results of brain research and describes the physiology of the limbic system (the feeling part of the brain), which appears consistent with a precursor to consciousness before higher thinking systems evolved in humans." (Jim Walker, Amazon Reviewer)

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Gloria Wilcox and Dealing with Feeling

The emotional wheel is presented to us by many.  Different people label emotions in different ways depending on their paradigm.  Gloria Wilcox has a wheel that helps us release our negative emotions.    She has called upon spirit for answers about how to deal with feelings.  Her latest book Soothing Angels shows us how there are ways to cope.  We all have negative emotions from time to time.  If we can identify our feelings and learn how to reframe them we can heal our path to positive outcomes in our lives.  All of us have terrible things happen to us.  She gives us hope to deal with the roadblocks in our lives to make them instances of healing and learning by processes of coping. We can shift our lives and be centered. In this our inner can be enlivened and we will be more alive. There are so many happenings that can breed a lot of anger.  But, we can learn how to release this anger.  If we learn about empathy, and the soul our lives can be so much more dynamic and peaceful.  This author helps us release our blocks to joy.  When we endeavor to enjoy what we learn it will open us up and give us access to a wider range of emotion.  Take a look at how Gloria mapped out feelings on a wheel so others could navigate their own feelings.  Her work was Christ centered as her father was a minister.  Her vision is a beautiful organic process of being.  If enough people participate in this vision to release anger and bring more love into their lives all the time, perhaps we will have a golden era of love.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Feelings we Feel with our Body

Have you ever heard the expressions (cold feet, butterflies in your stomach, on pins and needles, hot headed, a feeling in the pit of my stomach)?  Why is it we relate certain feelings to various parts of the body?  In 2013 some Finnish researchers were asking themselves the same question.  Before we can understand how this happens, we need to find out what happens.  For their study, over 700 people were shown two silhouettes of bodies next to emotional words and pictures. They told them to mark in the areas on the outlines of the human body that they believed would give their own body a feeling. The results were impressive.  They found in general, people feel emotions in similar parts of their bodies.  This explains why we have such expressions in our language.  The body tends to react in some universal ways.  The next question will be to find out if we can find out how these physical sensations are triggered and why.  If you want to help with these studies you can participate in them yourself at http://becs.aalto.fi/~lnummen/participate.htm

Try it.  It might be fun!

Friday, May 6, 2016

Feelings of Belonging

            Last week my family was planning on going to a wedding when I found out my Step Uncle had passed away.  I was torn because I felt like I belonged to both of these wonderful families. I belonged to both of these groups who had validated and accepted me for who I am, and I wanted to do the same for them.  I chose to say goodbye to my Uncle, and then go to be with the next day celebrations with my husband’s family.  Both groups included me in their festivities and have nurtured my soul over the years. I have a theory that when life seems to be hectic and maybe even pointless, forging forward to connect to ones you are related to brings new meaning to your life. Belonging to these groups has taken some effort.  They were in Ohio and Indiana, and I was in Florida.  Lovingly they both engaged with my husband and I and acceptance us as a member or part of their groups. 
            As a daughter of divorce, my sense of belonging was challenged in my teens. My stepfamily invited me to make a square in their family quilt given to Grandma and Grandpa Emerick 36 years ago. That meant so much to me. That quilt was hanging on the funeral home wall. It inspired me to make a memory book for my husband’s parent’s fiftieth anniversary just one year ago.  Such a simple act of joining us all together to sew a quilt so many years ago for huge concept. It encouraged me to send a page of a memory book to each family member to celebrate the love of my new family. This loving act of making a quilt for my stepmother’s parents gave me sense of belonging that is a human need, just like the need for food and shelter. The presence of this quilt on this sad day that we had to say goodbye to one of the people who had sewn his presence into the fabric of this family gave me solace. 
            So many years ago each family member was given a square of fabric to decorate and sew together for a large expression of love from all. In this quilt I looked at Dan’s square and felt connected to Dan’s life and was more able to cope with the intensely painful emotions of saying goodbye. Of all the many ways to belong, I experienced this one knowing the circle of love in this family was still sewn together with love.  I had to leave the funeral with the memory book that my husband’s family members had contributed to for the wedding and anniversary celebration and my heart was still very heavy. How could I possibly switch gears and be happy? Gone were the adventures and gatherings that would include Dan. As sad as it was I still felt blessed by this connection and prayed that I would continue working at my connectedness to others.  Belonging is supposed to improve motivation, health, and happiness.  I felt my circle widened, and my soul felt deeper from these tender moments, but I could not honestly say I felt more motivated, or healthier, or happier. Yet this struggle of dealing with our grief was healed by the loving connections that still held.
Building a Sense of Belonging
            I really value being connected to others.  That is why we had been planning to go to this wedding and to celebrate my mother and father in law’s fiftieth wedding anniversary.  Every time we go to celebrate a time in joy of a wedding or a holiday I am impressed with the effort, and time the family in Indiana spends organizing one another to come together to encourage each other. One way they increase their sense of belonging is to look for ways we are similar with each other. They share wonderful stories of times passed and I love to listen to their experiences. It gives me a new understanding of my husband and his family. My husband and I are also struck by the interest they take in our family and what we are doing in our lives. We focus on common areas of interest.  This past visit, a cousin shared the family genealogy that she had researched. We were enriched by their differences, and renewed. 
            It is easy to accept the ideas of others, when you see their differences as a gift to bring you joy that enlivens your mind. When I walked into the wedding celebration after I had just been to a funeral it was hard to open my heart in joy.  Yet, I knew that this is what God wanted me to do.  Then as we bowed our heads in prayer the bride’s father mentioned the circle of love and life that God has sewn together for each and every one of us.  I thought of Ronmans 8:38  “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.”  I knew at that moment, that this, is where God is for me.  God was in each and every one of us there that day.  As hard as it was to accept others with happy open arms on that day, God was there and we were all witnesses to that circle of love that shall not be broken. There will always be views that are not the same as yours, but under that we are all connected.  The visit was glorious as the group continued to validate one another.  This built a sense of belonging and strengthened relationships. This is why the group still gathers. Validation is acceptance. Acknowledging each member of the group has grown a large family that supports and cares for one another.

            I am so glad I went to the funeral and the wedding.  I was with others I cared about and they cared about me.  I was blessed to be invited to these moments in life that are markers of the cycle of life that we are all part of.  To belong we must validate and accept others for who they are, and then they will do the same for us.  That is community. I hope to build more activities for my circle of friends in Florida and let go of my judgments and give acceptance and validation to others. Judgments can build walls. I ask myself what can I do to focus on people?  What can I do to validate others? How can I show others they are accepted in my circle? Connecting with others is far more important than our own individual likes and dislikes, for it sustains us.  It is where God’s love abides.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Feelings you get from a pet's illness

Pets are a great way to teach children about illness, death and dying.  I will never forget how my little dog moppet taught me how to deal with illness.

We began to love our dear little Moppet more and more each day.  My sister liked to brush her hair.  I liked to feel the softness of her forehead hair.  There was a light brown and grey patch there like that of a poodle.  Her hair would grow and grow and she did not shed much, so we had to take her to the hairdresser to get trimmed like a poodle does.  Her hair styled well because of the wire haired nature.  My sister and I would spend hours and hours brushing her for fun as we watched the local clown Flippo on television as he presented movie classics for the greater central ohio and Columbus area.  In between the show during commercials my brother would get out a rag from the rag box and shake it up in the air and she would jump up in the air two or three feet and grab it with her teeth and then tug at it and not let go.  My brother relished the growl, the intense play and the sport of it all. I worried that she would somehow get hurt.  One day she did.  She lost a baby tooth from the strong tugging of a thirteen year old boy.  Mom then outlawed strong tugging.  Scott had to figure a way to get her to jump and engage in such a determined way.  It was too much to let go of this kind of fun.  He just had to find a way to instigate the growl, the turn of tail, the wild look.  It tickled all our funny bones I had to admit.  My brother was clever.  He devised a way to keep the chase on without the tug.  He got out the garden hose and sprayed it into the air.  It looked white.  To little Moppet that arc in the sky was one huge rag ready to be clamped onto and tugged and growled at and the chase was on!  Up went the water into the sky.  Up went Moppet springing so high in the air.  She spring sprung up up up and bit the ark of water.  Months of rag play prepared her for this day.  She was in her element.  She bit hard, and then….to her surprise it disappeared.  There was Scott at the other end of the hose grinning.  He had the sprayer nozzle on the end of the hose.  He could control the stream of water in an instant.  Moppet looked puzzled.  Scott kept playing with her.  This was even better than the rag!  I thought it was funny too.  “Can I try?”  “Sure!”  Scott was the generous type.  After a while all the kids in the neighborhood had a chance to try and Moppet did not want to stop.  My mother called us in for dinner and we were all wet and dirty and happy.  We washed our hands, sat in our seats and were ready for our meal.  The dog sat at my feet knowing that tonight we were having broccoli.  She curled up against my legs.  Any other night I would nudge her away, but tonight we had a special bond.  I would eat the mashed potatoes.  I would eat the Salsbury steak, but when it came to broccoli I would gag.  I just couldn’t do it.  Moppet and I had a deal.  If she would keep quiet about it, I would hand her all the broccoli she could eat.  No one was the wiser until tonight.
For some reason, tonight she wouldn’t eat it.  I quickly wrapped it up in my napkin hoping no one see, but my mom saw.  I got in trouble.  Just as she was ready to make me take a new bite of a new piece she looked at the dog and saw that she just did not look right.  Something was wrong.  She asked my sister to get out a packet of dog food and feed her, her favorite food.  Moppet heard the crinkling of the plastic and painfully got up and waddled over to her feed bowl.  She sniffed the bowl, tried to take a bite and started to gag.  My mother looked at my dad.  My dad looked at my mom.  Why could the dog be acting so strange?  At that moment my mother had a frightening thought.  The neighbors had just ordered chemlawn to come and treat their lawn against cinch bugs.  This treatment was dangerous and pets were not supposed to go on the lawn for at least 24 hours after treatment. We tried our best to stay on our lawn while playing with the water, but come to think of it, Moppet did run over to their lawn a few times as she had been jumping in the air.  The thought that our poor little Moppet had inadvertently poisoned herself was too much for my sister to bear.  I was too young to understand, but when she started crying, I started crying because she was crying.  My mother’s eyes started watering, then she grabbed ahold of herself and got up from the dinner table and stated that she was going to call the vet right away.  As soon as we all realized something was wrong, Moppet suddenly looked worse.  I asked my mother after she got off the phone with the vet “Mommy, is she going to die?”
The after hours vet came after my mother told him the signs of Moppet’s illness.  Although she didn’t have vomiting, or diarrhea,or seizures yet, she did have lethargy, gagging and loss of appetite. We really didn’t know about the heartbeat because a dog’s heartbeat is different.  It sure sounded like gastrointestinal symptoms according to the vet.  Perhaps they could save her life if they pumped her stomach. She was already having some neurologic symptoms the way she was acting so strangely, and maybe she was having heart symptoms too.  We loved her so much.  Maybe they could hook her up to an electrocardiogram just to see.  It happened so quickly.  This indicated that if she was indeed poisoned we would have to act fast to eliminate it if she would stand a chance..  We had read in the paper about a Labrador retriever who died in one night from a lawn treatment.  We were beside ourselves with panic, fear and worry. Charcoal, might be an option, but we had to be sure.  She had been outside gulping water all afternoon.  We had to take her in just to be sure.

We filed into the vets office.  The vet was kind.  He saw how distressed we all were.  He asked permission to talk frankly in front of the children.  My parents explained that they don’t hide death from us.  It is a part of life.  He explained that if we can get the stomach pumped there is a chance that she will make it.  But first he had to examine her.  He looked into her eyes and was relieved to inform us that her pupils were not dilated and appeared normal.  He checked her vital signs.  Her breathing and heart rate was also normal.  This was one more thing to be relieved about.  He felt her abdomen.  It was as tight as skin on bologna.  It was so hard it felt like she had stones in her stomach.  That was a problem. So next he gathered her up in his arms and explained to my mother that he was going to need to have someone to hold her tightly.  My father stepped up to hold her. He grabbed a long rubber tube from the medicine cabinet on the far wall and walked deliberately and slowly up to Moppet.  He put the tube down her throat and for the next ten minutes we just heard this slow ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshowew just hissing out the end of the tube. The somber look of the vet turned into a grin.  Grins were appearing on every face in the room.  Moppets tail began to wag.  They set her on the floor and she almost began to dance with joy.  She even wet a little.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Having a Good Cry

Have you ever felt you wanted to have a good cry but couldn't?  Don't hold back.  It is good for you to have a good cry.  When you cry it creates a chemical change in your body that helps you cope with a stressful situation. Wiki how has a great site that gives you tips to help you get through a good bout of crying.  It is http://www.wikihow.com/Cry-and-Let-It-All-Out.  I highly suggest this for anyone who might be holding in their tears.

Some people have trouble expressing themselves and so they bottle up all the things they wanted to complain about.  Over time these petty little annoyances add up layer after layer and they cause more stress.  People that don't assert their needs tend to have years and years worth of pent up resentment that just eats away at them over time.  Once you have a good cry it can help you deal with the issues that you have been taking in and not dealing with instead of being angry and numb.


Friday, January 8, 2016

Emotional Equations

               The quest to examine emotions, why we have them, how to deal with them, and the best way to view them will empower you.  An invaluable operating manual to explore emotions is entitled Emotional Equations by Chip Conley.  He gives us some simple truths for creating happiness and success.  The main point of the book is that we all have emotions, and when they are handled in a clever way we will have a meaningful happy life.  He quotes Viktor Frankl and Benjamin Franklin with the seeds of wisdom they have given humanity.  He uses prime examples of ways we can step back from our emotions and really weigh the impact of the things that cause us to move forward in life the way we do. 
                This book pointed out that research has shown that a person’s IQ in decision making is ten points lower when they make a decision when they are emotionally charged.  This however makes sense.  I often encourage people to “sleep on it.” when they are making a big decision.  It is also a good idea to not make too many changes in your life when you are going through an emotional time in your life.

                I strongly suggest anyone who would like to step back from their emotional reactive life and really think about what makes us tick emotionally read this book.  The equations such as [Curiosity = Wonder+ Awe] and [Anxiety= Uncertainty x Powerlessness] are explained, and will help me think about the way I feel and decide which way is the best way to act before I react to my emotions.