Surprised at the Sunshine State Book Festival 1

I Feel Shy When I Play A New Game

I feel worried and anxious when I get lost.

Coping with Frustration

 Frustration is a problem for most children. This is why some children throw tantrums.  They have not yet developed the ability to cope with their frustration and so they act out in inappropriate ways. Adults have the responsibility to teach children to listen to their emotions, accept their emotions and cope with their emotions. Dr. Porter discusses ways children can cope with their emotions and why this is important.  Karen Porter discusses her 'I Feel When' books and how the social context of each emotion is played out in their YouTube video and podcast 'I Feel Frustrated When You Don't Come Down'.

I know it is really easy to prescribe different methods to help your child cope with their emotions.  There are hundreds of 'experts' out there ready to tell you a technique or a plan for you to implement.  Some of them will work.  Some of them will not. But it is through constant modeling, exposing, and interaction that you can make positive change in the right direction.  I hope that my exploration of feelings in a social context easy for children to grasp will help others identify and work with their own feelings.

Fear is an Alert system to protect us.

 Fear is an emotion that some people believe you should ignore.  I like to look at fear as an alert system that tells the brain a story.  It is like an alarm that says "Hey!  You have to watch out here.  First we notice what is going on.  Then we analyze the real situation. Third we react.

Crafting our Emotional Vocabulary for children in developmentally appropriate ways.

 Experts say children around age five and six "show jealousy toward siblings" and "understand their own feelings"  They say they can even"show empathy and offer to help when they see another in distress." If this is true, I can see a need for beginning readers that help children build emotional literacy.  If we know children have these feelings and show them, I wonder if society gives children the words to actually express these feelings.  The more I research, the more I ask others about their thoughts about how children build emotional vocabulary and use it, I realize that there is little evidence that they are getting good examples in their reading material that model healthy emotional expression, resilience, and coping skills.  I am hoping that we spend less time looking at emotion words as great adjectives to add after you have written a story, and more time building scenarios where we really look at actual scenarios where a feeling fits a situation.  What do you think?

I Feel Jealous When I Want What You Have

It is hard to cope with that feeling one has when someone has something you want.  Sometimes you can’t help but be jealous of others. Jealousy is a problem for young children that parents should reflect upon.  If they can coach their children in proper ways to deal with the feeling of jealousy, they might be able to get what they want at some point.  This does not mean they deserve to get what they want in every moment.  This happens to Deb when she sees all of her friends with rubber ducks.   She is torn by the inside feeling of jealousy. Ada, Ben, Cal, Deb, and Ed are five of the many monster friends who play together in the 'I Feel When' book series. They cope with their feelings of jealousy in this book Karen and Jim are developing as part of the series.  Deb struggles with seeing all her friends play with rubber ducks in the pool.  So far no one will give Deb what she wants.  Even Ed has four rubber ducks.   Finally, she tells all of them “I feel jealous when you have what I want.” How should the problem be resolved?    Sometimes work out feelings does not necessarily mean you get your way.  What do you think should be the resolution of this problem? We invite viewers to chip in and tell us what they think is the best way to instill resilience in the face of jealousy in a nonthreatening way for younger audiences.  We hope our exploration of nonviolent communication as described in this YouTube channel 'Dealing with Feelings' by psychotherapist Dr. Jim Porter and Karen Porter in this edition of 'Feeling Fridays'.  Encourages parents to explore feelings with your young reader as they begin to read.  This video will discuss the best ways these furry friends learn appropriate ways to express feelings and solve problems by coping with their feelings through listening to one another and observing each other without judgement, expressing feelings and needs, and coping with feelings in compassionate helpful ways.

Feelings of Overwhelm, I Feel Overwhelmed When...

Feeling Friday "I Feel Angry When You Eat My Cookie"

White Discomfort Coping with Feelings Instead of Stuffing Them or Running Away from Them

I am no expert on racism.  I know in my heart, soul, body, and experience it is real. Running away from any discussion of it or keeping it inside of you is not honest, and it is not teaching our children how to cope with our feelings.  My children's book writing focuses on feelings.  Coping, facing, experiencing, and discerning your feelings will make you a more resilient person.  Banning books that make us feel uncomfortable will only make our society weak.  We as a society need to face things that make us feel uncomfortable at developmentally appropriate ages. Our society needs to teach children to be citizens of the world.  

The idea that institutional racism does not exist anymore and hearing that word makes you feel bad and that you should never feel bad is delusional. Living in a world where people only feel good in their own little bubble of existence and refuse to consider the feelings or experience of people who are not like themselves might feel great, but it is not sustainable. If there is only one way to experience and look at your world, your world gets smaller.

To be the best and better than all of the rest we need to include everyone no matter what their gender, race, or creed.  That is what America is about, so why can't we try to understand one another? When fifty percent of Americans are reading on a fourth grade reading level or below, I choose to write my books on a basil reading level in thoughtful ways.

Motivation to care about others starts early from the desire to communicate with others.  Education can be the great equalizer. So I am beginning a basil reading series that helps children express and know their feelings.  Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are.  Respecting others, listening, taking turns, sharing, expressing needs, and considering the feelings of others are basic skills we need to teach.  If our lawmakers of today were taught compassion for the feelings of others forty years ago, they would not be banning powerful books that instruct them and their children on the experience of people who are not like them. Running away from uncomfortable feelings the suffering or experience of people who are not like you will not make you a more resilient person. It will weaken the fabric of your world.

I Feel Disgusted When You Don't Blow Your Nose

Dealing with Failure